We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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