I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A+ Viking dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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