guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My penis needs a shock collar
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All the doctor said was why
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
