my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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