I don't think brook has ever known best
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So vagazzling was a success
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
