so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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