Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
