Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
