She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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