you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
