I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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