We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
