Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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