Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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