his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
