I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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