I'm really into asian looking animals
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize