the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
