worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
