we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
