i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
