i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
