I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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