I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
