you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
