nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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