I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
