Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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