I just saw a hot homeless man
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
