apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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