He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
