Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
