booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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