Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
