Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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