aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
