You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
