I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
this just has baby written all over it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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