i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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