At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The convent might be a nice break from real life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
