some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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