he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
