You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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