i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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