I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
