doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who died my cat blue again?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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