they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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