this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
