Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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