Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
