i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
