guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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