This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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