it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
