I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
