Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
