how can u be prego again
i think my tv is drunk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize