Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
