i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
